6.12.2009

Twitter Pun Storm: Swine Flu Edition

With the resurgence of the Swine Flu, I feel it is once again relevant to share the Twitter Pun Storm:

The following puns were made one morning on the popular social networking website Twitter.com.

I was inspired by the depth of pun material in the term "Swine Flu" that I produced the following:
@punsultant @doughamlin *cough* *cough* *swirl* *smell* *sip* #wineflu

@punsultant @doniree @doughamlin or, you know, *cough* *cough* *pickles!* #brineflue

@punsultant *oink* *oink* *smoke* *smoke* #swineflue

@punsultant George Bush was a great president! #swineflew

@punsultant *cough* *cough* *forest* #pineflu

@punsultant @doniree my back is coughing! #spineflu

@punsultant I stepped on this device and all of the sudden I started coughing #mineflu

@punsultant I think my fork is sick. #tineflu

@punsultant as I've been waiting here at the bank I've developed a cough and a fever. #lineflue

@punsultant OR my cough and fever only exist between two points #lineflu

@punsultant I am sick as an objectivist. #aynflu

@punsultant @MHMorgan if I do work I might get #tryin'flu.

@punsultant your lady doctor is sick #gyn'flu

@punsultant I am sick, but only when I'm lying on my back #supineflu

Which, in turn, inspired many others to make Swine Flu puns of their own:

@maxsparber Argh, I be struggling to catch me breath in the salty deep! #brineflu

@maxsparber @punsultant Funny, I had the same experience waiting to get pork in England #swinequeue

@eigenman @punsultant @zwjohnson I feel awful with this illness... I think I'm going to go lie on my back #supineflu

@eigenman @punsultant fuck I must have missed it while I was sacking Halicarnassus #rapineflu

@eigenman @julielyda @punsultant @zwjohnson but I do so enjoy upsetting you Julie! #malignflu command it in #()flu form and I'll stop :D

@eigenman @punsultant @zwjohnson MUCH better #anodineflu

@briannepitt @doniree @punsultant *sniffle* I can't even afford medication... #declinedflu

@doniree @punsultant @briannepitt *cough* *cough* *moooooooo* #bovineflu

@briannepitt @doniree @punsultant "Bueller... Bueller..." #Steinflu3

@doniree @punsultant @briannepitt *cough* *cough* *meow* *purr* #felineflu

@briannepitt @punsultant *cough* *grumble* *gripe* *sneeze* *exaggerated sigh* #whineflu

@doniree @punsultant I'm a poet and didn't know it #rhymeflu

@zwjohnson @punsultant it's not your fork, it's your food! #dineflu

@chessie @punsultant i got sick because i returned my library books late #fineflu ?

@zwjohnson @eigenman @punsultant I actually feel pretty good #fineflu

@doniree @punsultant *cough* *cough* *river* *europe* #rhineflu

@eigenman @punsultant oh JESUS my hypothalamus just threw up #endocrineflu

I'm sure some swine flu puns have slipped through the cracks. Although, I'm sure you're already pretty full up on your swine flu pun quota for today.

6.11.2009

Found Pun: What I Saw

From my good friend Adam, I present to you what he doodled in a boring meeting:

6.10.2009

Eggs

What do you call a bunch of eggs that resist being eaten?

An ohmlette.

6.01.2009

Found Pun: Resistance

And one more physics puns for today. Here's one I read on a plaque in a high school one time:

Resistance: it starts at ohm.

Found Pun: Electron

Keeping with an atomic pun theme today, I present to you a pun my friend Derek shared with me.


One atom says to another, "Dude, I think I just lost an electron!" The other atom responds, "What? Are you sure?!" To which the first atom says, "Yeah, man, I'm positive!"

Found Pun: Neutron

I've been telling this joke to every science major I know for the past week. I came across it on the Twitter joke feed @ComicTwit, which is a pretty good source for puns.


A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, "How much for a beer? "The bartender replied, "For you, no charge."

5.25.2009

An Unusual Drink Option

When you order many small samples of beers or scotches or wines with the intention of sampling a wide variety, that is called a "flight." Scotch flight, beer flight, etc. Usually there will be a theme, like a Highlands flight for scotch, or an import flight for beer.

Well, evidently at Jake's Sports Cafe in Plymouth, you can have all the white people move out of your neighborhood:

whiteflight